Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

It doesn’t matter who you are; everyone struggles with how to manage the time they have each day and still get the most out of it while caring for the people they love. Unfortunately, however, there’s a massive guilt factor when it comes to taking care of yourself. We talk to a lot of our clients, and whether it’s exercise, meditation, reading, or simply just taking some alone time, they all feel like they’re stealing time and being selfish when they engage in self-care. As coaches, part of our job is to help our clients find the balance in their lives so they can be 100% present at work, at home, and for themselves. 

Being present for yourself tends to fall by the wayside when people balance their time, but if you’re not present for yourself, you can’t show up in either of the other two facets. 

Fuel Yourself 

Self-care means different things to different people. It can be a morning run, going to the gym, reading a book, having date night, meditating—anything that gives you time to unwind and reset your brain.

For both of us, fitness is our primary form of self-care. However, when we’re home from work and our kids are home from school, we feel compelled to give them all of our time and energy—whatever is left, that is. We feel like we’re letting them down or even being bad parents when we want to do something for ourselves, but your family will thank you when you take care of yourself. Kirk mentioned that he knows it’s going to be a great day when his wife goes on a morning run because she always comes back in a great mood. When you practice self-care, it relieves stress and releases endorphins and serotonin to put you in a better headspace. 

The problem is that there’s always something else you feel like you should be doing instead of taking care of yourself. As Kirk often says, “Time is the new rich,” and whatever form your self-care takes, you need the time for it. 

Make a Routine

You don’t find the time for your self-care—you have to make it. There’s only so much time in the day, so what we find helpful is to create a routine for yourself. We both try to go to bed at a specific time, then wake up and get our exercise in before the kids wake up. The early wakeup may be rough at first, but eventually, you won’t mind it. Waking up early and getting in an exercise session will make you feel good and set the tone for the rest of the day. With it, you can tackle the big team meetings and hard client issues, but without it, you set yourself up for a tough day. 

You don’t have to make it a morning routine—it all depends on your schedule. If setting aside time in the evenings or at night works better for you, choose that option—but do it regularly. Because rituals create neural pathways, you’ll find that the more you do your routine, the more ingrained it will become. Make it a habit, hold yourself accountable, and you’ll find your days are better. 

Dentistry is a physical sport that’s emotionally and spiritually draining at times, so you must find a way to refill your bucket. Self-care, in whatever form that takes for you, needs to be a priority. Make time for it, and if you have trouble, reach out and let us help you figure out how to prioritize it so you can be present in what you do, present for those who depend on you, and present for yourself. It’s not being selfish, because you’re taking care of yourself so you have more to give.

Courtney Dalton is a Lead Practice Coach and Gina Diakonov is a Business Developer at ACT Dental